the_secret_programsfandomcom-20200213-history
Timeline
This is the work-in-progress timeline for everything on this wiki! Be patient for this to be finished, as our historians have to review everything they've learned about 80 times to be able to accurately create this. If you find any continuity errors, feel free to change the timeline to fix it! (PS: Ignore the numbers bits if you don't want to go through the trouble of deciphering them, it's just the Kevin part right before it in the "A-1, Z-26" code Whenever Cancer's Death Toll Broke 100 * The Make A Wish Foundation is started Beginning of Time * Time begins * Kevin / 11-5-22-9-14 ~4.54 Billion Years Ago * Earth forms 120 BCE * Mecha-Jesusology (Religion) is formed. 0 CE * Supposedly Rome creates the Mecha-Jesusology Project, but was abandoned shortly after 1762 * The NES is invented in an alternate timeline 1892 * The Robo-Dactyl Project is created by Dr. Sirref using a time machine 1893 * Robo-Dactyl is created 1900 * January 27th, the Bat Hospital Takeover of 1900 occurs and Bruce Wayng is born * Bat Mang is born * Tricycles become popular, and thus the rise of tricycle trafficking ensues as well as the rise of tricycle gangs 1915 * General Guy Fieri was born 1916 * Bruce Wayng is forced to rethink his outlook on life after his girlfriend flees when she sees he was raised by bats 1918 * Dr. Sirref/Mr. Ferris is born * January 28th, Godzilla attacks Japan 1920 * Japan creates the SNAWRB project 1923 * September 12th, Robo-Dactyl-Zilla is created and immediately goes to destroy the Japanese island of Osalamisempei, and is later arrested and killed after being badly wounded by Japan's retaliation with the SNAWRB 1925 * General Guy Fieri becomes a Private in the US Army * Bruce Wayng gains control of his own company, later to become the CEO of Brucenomics Inc. 1930 * Colonel Adam Sandler founds the Kentucky Fried Chicken line of chicken restaurants 1939 * Bruce Wayng has his mid-life crisis and is seen less often * Bat Mang makes his first appearance, saving a clown from a group of elephants 1941 * In an alternate timeline, France becomes communist 1942 * Bat Mang becomes more powerful than the local police force of Togham, Georgia * "The Riddlish" accidentally takes over Togham and is then killed by Bat Mang 1945 * General Guy Fieri becomes General of the US Army after 20 years of service * Bruce Wayng disappears forever * Bat Mang is killed by a cat * A Bat Mang statue is unveiled and then torn down ten days later after it was found out that Bat Mang was part of a tricycle trafficking ring 1952 * Alternate timeline France's French Communist Army (FCA) begins its rise as a result of alternate timeline General Guy Fieri joining the FCA and convincing Italy to join forces with France, temporarily becoming the French-Italian Communist Army (FICA) and conquers all but one of the surrounding countries 1964 * Alternate timeline FICA defeats and annexes the US, becoming the American-French-Italian Legion (AFIL) 1965 * AFIL annexes Canda, now becoming CAFIL (Canadian-American-French-Italian Legion), along with the rest of North and Central America (alternate timeline) 1967 * 3-Year-Old Nicolas Cage sees a cancer patient's Make A Wish Foundation wish come true in a shitty Spiderman ''movie * The Make A Wish Foundation was ''officially formed by 3-year-old Nicolas Cage after he finds a magic fish named Johnathan that grants wishes 1974 * Japan scraps the SNAWRB project 1976 * Kevin invests in Apple a multitude of times / 11-5-22-9-14 9-14-22-5-19-20-19 9-14 1-16-16-12-5 1 13-21-12-20-9-20-21-4-5 15-6 20-9-13-5-19 ~1985 * CAFIL renames itself back to France (alternate timeline) 1987 * The original idea for the Web MD Project is created 1989 * Colonel Adam Sandler joins the US Army * Col. Adam Sandler kills Donchawishyogirlhad D. Cupsboy, skipping 21 Army rankings as a result * France becomes the world's strongest country and thus a threat to other countries, so East Korea (North Korea in this universe) threatens with nuclear arms to release the previous countries, but France does not comply (alternate timeline) 1990 * Col. Adam Sandler ends the war with Donchawishyocountrywaslikeme, now becoming Brigadier General * Col. Adam Sandler commits his first war crime (Shoving 492 Nintendo 3DS XL's up several hostages' anuses) * The French-Korean War of 1990 starts and ends ten days later, resulting in a world similar to that of the Fallout video game series (alternate timeline) 1991 * Col. Adam Sandler kills Salami Bun Sanvich, now becoming General of the US Army * General Guy Fieri attempts suicide as a result of him losing his place in the US Army * Guy Fieri's wife (Lady Fieri) stops Guy Fieri and convinces him to live on through food shows * Col. Adam Sandler is forced to resign after demanding to use nuclear arms in the Cold War 1992 * President Ronald McDonald-Reagan funded and founded Project POKEMON after watching'' only'' the 32nd episode of the Pokemon anime 1993 * Col. Adam Sandler is re-instated to the US Army due to a war breaking out that would only end if Jack and Jill (a movie in which Adam Sandler plays both a man and that man's sister) is released and being re-instated was one of Sandler's dressing room requirements * The first Pokemon Park is finished and its subsequent disaster happens 1996 * The Web MD Project is founded * Azzica is discovered 1997 * The Titan Program is created * The Australian-American War over Azzica is announced 2001 * The first Titan-sized creature, Dick Blob, is created 2002 * Web M-Death is created and ready to be launched, but has not yet been so 2005 * The first Titan-sized and Titan-shaped creature, Dick Head McGee, was created * Australia picks up the SNAWRB project in preparation for the Australian-American War * The Illumi-knit-ti is formed 2011 * The Macho Prophecy is fulfilled 2012 * November 18th, the first case of NotGonnaPlayMyDSForAWhileNowBecauseIHaveAWii-U-Itis is recorded shortly after the WiiU is released * December 12th (or 21st depending on who you ask), the Maya Prophecy is fulfilled 2013 * March 25th, Arabitch is formed * March 26th, Arabitch is destroyed 2014 * Kevin assassinates a random fireman because he felt like it / 11-5-22-9-14 1-19-19-1-19-19-9-14-1-20-5-19 1 18-1-14-4-15-13 6-9-18-5-13-1-14 2-5-3-1-21-19-5 8-5 6-5-12-20 12-9-11-5 9-20 * October 21st, NotGonnaPlayMyDSForAWhileNowBecauseIHaveAWii-U-Itis becomes a "contained outbreak" thanks to the release of Super Smash Brothers for WiiU 2015 * January 29th, Robo-Dactyl-Zilla Titan attacks a school in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and is killed by Col. Adam Sandler ("RDZT" and "attack" link to different pages) * The Titan Program finally creates a Titan (although it has a human penis), Richard T. * The Titan Program is shut down as aresult of the Robo-Dactyl-Zilla Titan attack * The Pokemon World ''theme park/military testing site opens 22 years after ''Pokemon Park and has its own disaster 2909 * A group of intergalactic outlaws launch Earth's moon to twice its orbit relative to the sun * Operation: Get Back the Moon sends Earth to twice its orbit relative to the sun but also sends it to one million years in the future * The International Calendar Extension occurs * Earth begins to colonize Mars 2913 * Kevin invents a time machine at the age of 8, eighteen months before his own birth / 11-5-22-9-14 9-14-22-5-14-20-19 1 20-9-13-5 13-1-3-8-9-14-5 1-20 20-8-5 1-7-5 15-6 H, 5-9-7-8-20-5-5-14 13-15-14-20-8-19 2-5-6-15-18-5 8-9-19 15-23-14 2-9-18-20-8 2914 * November 52nd, Kevin is born, and simultaneously a future version of himself tries to shoot his baby self as that future version was also being shot by an even further future version of himself while his baby self was shooting his mother 9 months before his own birth while he was being born but was also being shot by his father from an alternate timeline where guns were made of squid tentacles as well as a bunch of other crazy shit / 11-5-22-9-14 9-19 2-15-18-14 1-14-4 19-9-13-21-12-20-1-14-5-15-21-19-12-25 1 6-21-20-21-18-5 22-5-18-19-9-15-14 15-6 8-9-13-19-5-12-6 20-18-9-5-19 20-15 19-8-15-15-20 8-9-19 2-1-2-25 19-5-12-6 1-19 20-8-1-20 6-21-20-21-18-5 22-5-18-19-9-15-14 23-1-19 1-12-19-15 2-5-9-14-7 19-8-15-20 2-25 1-14 5-22-5-14 6-21-18-20-8-5-18 6-21-20-21-18-5 22-5-18-19-9-15-14 15-6 8-9-13-19-5-12-6 23-8-9-12-5 8-9-19 2-1-2-25 19-5-12-6 23-1-19 19-8-15-15-20-9-14-7 8-9-19 13-15-20-8-5-18 I 13-15-14-20-8-19 2-5-6-15-18-5 8-9-19 15-23-14 2-9-18-20-8 23-8-9-12-5 8-5 23-1-19 2-5-9-14-7 2-15-18-14 2-21-20 23-1-19 1-12-19-15 2-5-9-14-7 19-8-15-20 2-25 8-9-19 6-1-20-8-5-18 6-18-15-13 1-14 1-12-20-5-18-14-1-20-5 20-9-13-5-12-9-14-5 23-8-5-18-5 7-21-14-19 23-5-18-5 13-1-4-5 15-6 19-17-21-9-4 20-5-14-20-1-3-12-5-19 1-19 23-5-12-12 1-19 1 2-21-14-3-8 15-6 15-20-8-5-18 3-18-1-26-25 19-8-9-20 * Kevin enters the next stage of his life, known only as "Kevin", and becomes every word that begins with the prefix "omni-" / 11-5-22-9-14 5-14-20-5-18-19 20-8-5 14-5-24-20 19-20-1-7-5 15-6 8-9-19 12-9-6-5, 11-14-15-23-14 15-14-12-25 1-19 "11-5-22-9-14", 1-14-4 2-5-3-15-13-5-19 5-22-5-18-25 23-15-18-4 20-8-1-20 2-5-7-9-14-19 23-9-20-8 20-8-5 16-18-5-6-9-24 "15-13-14-9-" 2924 * Kevin finds one million dollars sitting in an alley and goes back to 2913 to create a time machine / 11-5-22-9-14 6-9-14-4-19 15-14-5 13-9-12-12-9-15-14 4-15-12-12-1-18-19 19-9-20-20-9-14-7 9-14 1-14 1-12-12-5-25 1-14-4 7-15-5-19 2-1-3-11 20-15 BIAC 20-15 3-18-5-1-20-5 1 20-9-13-5 13-1-3-8-9-14-5 2929 * Kevin leaves his family as a multi-trillionaire and becomes the world's first (and last) time machine salesman / 11-5-22-9-14 12-5-1-22-5-19 8-9-19 6-1-13-9-12-25 1-19 1 13-21-12-20-9-20-18-9-12-12-9-15-14-1-9-18-5 1-14-4 2-5-3-15-13-5-19 20-8-5 23-15-18-12-4'19 6-9-18-19-20 (1-14-4 12-1-19-20) 20-9-13-5 13-1-3-8-9-14-5 19-1-12-5-19-13-1-14 2975 * The United States of Mars breaks off from its mother country (the US) and Earth, causing the 3-year long Martian-American Revolutionary War 2976 * The United States of Mars first uses its official name 2978 * The United States of Mars is now officially an independent nation, marking the end of the Martian-American Revolutionary War 3012 * Sentient life is discovered on Mars * Native Martians arise from their caverns 3023 * The Dust Storm Prevention Squad (DSPS) is formed * Dust Storm Prevention Domes (DSPDs) are invented 3024 * DSPDs are now widespread, preventing $20 trillion in dust storm damage 3034 * Baton Qwinett invents the anti-ray gun, which is a gun capable of creating miniature, temporary black holes 3043 * Sentient life existing beyond our solar system is confirmed * Logosians arrive at Mars 3045 * The anti-ray gun is improved * Dark matter bombs (D-Bombs) are invented in a collaboration of Logosians and humans in the Manhattan Project Mk II 3046 * GMO technology creates strawberry and chocolate milk cows and a strand of independently-moving corn * Dark matter is successfully integrated into space travel 3048 * GMO tech successfully makes all humans immune to the common cold * Late 3048: a new strand of the cold virus named the uncommon cold is found 3050 * Solar television (STV) is invented, making inter-planetary TV a reality 3051 * Pilot episode of Brian, Bryan, and Briun airs 3057 * Pilot episodes of That's So Laraven ''and ''Last Two Weeks Tonight air 3063 * Native Martians and Logosians are found able to interbreed with each other and humans 3078 * First tri-species (human, native Martian, and Logosian) baby is born with 4 arms, super strength, and an inexplicable fondness of chocolate cheese (cheese made from chocolate milk) 3100 * First Logosian president is elected 3107 * Apple2 invents the super-intelligent phone that is basically sentient, known as the Yphone 6969 * Kevin shoots the leader of the Dolphin Army, Dolphin Hitler, thus ending the Great Dolphin/Man-Lizard War of 6969 and earning a Nobel Peace Prize / 11-5-22-9-14 19-8-15-15-20-19 20-8-5 12-5-1-4-5-18 15-6 20-8-5 4-15-12-16-8-9-14 1-18-13-25, 4-15-12-16-8-9-14 8-9-20-12-5-18, 20-8-21-19 5-14-4-9-14-7 20-8-5 7-18-5-1-20 4-15-12-16-8-9-14/13-1-14-12-9-26-1-18-4 23-1-18 15-6 FIFI 1-14-4 5-1-18-14-9-14-7 1 14-15-2-5-12 16-5-1-3-5 16-18-9-26-5 Presumably 6970 * Kevin shoots a Man-Lizard baby directly in the face for "being a little bitch" and calling him "a dickwad with a time machine", thus revoking his Nobel Peace Prize / 11-5-22-9-14 19-8-15-15-20-19 1 13-1-14-12-9-26-1-18-4 2-1-2-25 4-9-18-5-3-20-12-25 9-14 20-8-5 6-1-3-5 6-15-18 "2-5-9-14-7 1 12-9-20-20-12-5 2-9-20-3-8" 1-14-4 3-1-12-12-9-14-7 8-9-13 "1 4-9-3-11-23-1-4 23-9-20-8 1 20-9-13-5 13-1-3-8-9-14-5", 20-8-21-19 18-5-22-15-11-9-14-7 8-9-19 14-15-2-5-12 16-5-1-3-5 16-18-9-26-5